slip of tongue

I have a love hate relationship when it comes to semester holidays.

I hate semester holidays coz that’s the time I’ll be bored.

But, what I love about semester breaks is that I can download as many movies as I want. To do that, I used to use LimeWire, a p2p software. P2p means peer to peer. Basically the files that you download comes from people who use that same software. The more people who have that file, the faster you download.

After about 2 months of using LimeWire, I decided to uninstall it coz it’s so fucking slow. 2kb persecond for 700mb file? What the fish? For 1 movie to complete, it takes 2 weeks!

Then I switched to Ares, another p2p software. This sofware is quite ok. I get up to 60kb per second for 700mb download, sometimes 90kb. So, my downloading time is cut down to 4 hours. Not too shabby. I thought I can’t get any faster than this.

But I was sorely mistaken. Get a load of this. It’s kinda blur, so click it to enhance.

That’s the wonder of XUNLEI Thunder. A torrent software. Faster that BitComet, BitTorrent or UTorrent.

1 movie for 1 hour.Huhuhu..

I got a feeling that this semester break won’t be so dull after all..

I haven’t been updating my friendster blog now, if you haven’t noticed that. Don’t blame it on me…Blame it on my new blog..Hehehehe….

Here’s the case. If you have a friendster profile and set up a blog and haven’t been updating the blog, you can easily brush it off as busy communicating with friends, and forgot to update the blog. Happens all the time..However, if you have a web site solely dedicated on writing blogs, you are pressured to keep updating that page. That’s why I focused my blog update on my new blog..hehehe…Click there to visit.

I am not gonna shut down my friendster blog. This place has a lot of memories in it.

Here in this blog, I wrote poems about a girl I loved, but never managed to give it to her. Here also, I lost a once good friend of mine. Here, whatever crosses my mind gets recorded for me to relive it. My blog’s my everything.

I never thought writing can be so much fun. It makes you think real deep about the issue. If  you don’t know what you’re gonna write, how’re you going to write it, right? So, it makes me read a lot. After that, I arrange what I’m gonna say and put some punch lines. Ten years ago, I’d think people who write diaries are uncool. After writing blogs, now I know what kind of feeling they feel when they write something. They feel 100kg lighter.

And that’s what I need since I’m really fat..hahahaha…

this is a special post to nazmi, my nephew….

so that he knows that he’s always in his uncle’s mind….

p/s: He’s not dead.

Assalamualaikum

Thank you to Allah who still gives me permission to write
again.

Last night, my friends and I went out to watch a movie
entitled “definitely, maybe”. It’s
about a guy telling his daughter a story about who is her mother and
subsequently about his past love life.

The movie was good, and it had one message that left me
thinking hard.

“Old wounds heal over
time”

My friends, I have been wounded by others, yet for some of
it, I still hold the grudge. Some of it I’ve held for almost 3 years. I have
also wounded others, and their anger towards me is very much like the thing
that made them mad had just happened yesterday, I’m sure.

If old wounds heal over time, how come people I have wounded
still refuse to accept my apologies? I have been asking her for almost two years
now, and she still refuses to answer my call. Shouldn’t time have worked its
magic by now?  If old wounds heal over
time, how come I still feel the pain she gave me?

It’s been almost two years dammit!

I miss her… I miss the way she laughs… I miss the way she
smiles… I miss the way she’d say “poyo ah ko!”… I miss everything about her…

get away from me

i’ve had enough of you

get away from me

i’m through with you

get away from me

i’m done with you

i don’t wanna waste my time with you

i got better things to do

i don’t wanna waste my breath talking to you

coz baby you ain’t worth it

now get out of my sight

if you know what’s good for you

how could you do this to me

am i just a stepping stone to you?

am i just another guy to you?

i guess they were right after all

maybe i should’ve ignored you back then.

just go away

i don’t wanna see you anymore

just go away

let me be, leave me alone

just go away

and let time do what it does best

Assalamualaikum….

This piece of poem is taken from a music score written by Giovanni Paisiello

entitled il barbiere de siviglia…it’s in italian, but i just take the translated version..hahahhaha

Just heaven, who knows
how pure is my heart
i pray you to give to my soul
that peace i do not have

Assalamualaikum….

These past couple of weeks have been the craziest weeks of my life…Assignments keep piling up, shits screwing up, and the worst part of it is when I wake up the next morning, there’s more of them in store…

supposed to be calling my parents,
but somehow it slipped outta my mind

Supposed to be doing assignments,
but Friendster is too much a temptation

supposed to be sleeping,
but my hands can’t stop blogging

supposed to be studying,
but i find reading boring

I really, REALLY need my priorities checked……

damn…….

-. .- .–. . / .- -.- ..- / .-. .- … . / — .- -.-. .- — / -. .- -.- / … . — -… . .-.. .. …. / — .-. –. / .— . .-. .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.-

    assalamualaikum…..

    I guess I pretty much bored you guys to death when my last couple of posts are about my jiwang self….hehe… but rest assured, this blog ain’t about that stuff no more…

    last couple of days, i drove to town to pick up my sis in the bus terminal around 11 pm..(the very same bus terminal i had a row with a makcik cleaner) it was quite dark, yet i still drove quite fast for a holey kampung road…hehe

    then my father said, "i wouldn’t go too fast now, if i were u.."

    "what’s d matter..???"

    "u’ll see in a moment…hehehhee"

    i didn’t bother to ease up on the gas…on and on i sped till at a corner, out of the blue i saw a SLEEPING DOG LYING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD..fortunately, i was able to evade that stupid dog… i looked to my father, to see his cheeky grin on his face…

    then i picked up my sis, and about 40 minutes later i passed on the very spot where i nearly hit the sleeping dog…

    Seriously, i thought by now that dog would’ve been gone by then, but it’s not..

    I understood why that dog didn’t move by then.. coz it can’t… i saw that same dog with his hind leg crushed by cars, but somehow leaving his front part intact…that thing is dead..it was dead since my first encounter with it..

    the sight was eerie..you can see its bits of flesh splattered across the road with blood pools splashing the unfortunate cars which didn’t manage to evade it….

    it was only luck that i had managed to not step on any of that stuff…huhu….

    so, the moral that i have learned is, drive slowly…coz it’s only luck that i managed to evade that dog, but my luck maybe will have run out if i have to evade a child…

assalamualaikum…

i know i haven’t been updating my blog for quite a while…. sorry guys, but shits always happen to come around and screw me up….hehehehe…..

perhaps it’s the holiday mood that made me wanna post this thing..this is yet another jiwang poem of mine…this poem is dedicated to the girl whom i love so much..the feeling is bottled up inside me and it somehow exploded into these lines…note that i copied e.e cummings’ style…hehehhe…sorry dude…

p/s:the girl i meant is still in the dark about what i feel to her…

I love you (forever i do)

I love you (forever i do)
From the day we met, i knew i loved you (for two years, it’s always been you)
It took a lot of courage in me (to tell you that i love you)
Because back then, i was afraid (i was afraid of losing you)

I love you
For a reason that no eyes could see,
for a reason that no mind could perceive,
for a reason that no heart could believe.

Perhaps, it’s something in you….

Perhaps it’s the stars in your eyes.
Perhaps it’s the magic in your smiles.
Or maybe it’s the way you made my heart skip two beats
(Or maybe it’s because all of it)

Girl, i love you
I love you more than my life
forever this feeling will stay true (this i promise you)
And if i have a wish that will come true,
I already know what I’d wish for
(I’d wish that you’d love me too)

Muhamad Safwan bin Abu Bakar
February 1 2008, 2245 hours